If we want to create more caring and compassionate societies, we need a toolbox that includes learning new skills. The following summarizes some theories on how people learn, that I find useful.
Can we learn compassion?
Most likely yes! But the answer to this question, and most certainly our approach, will depend on our definition of what compassion is.
In his 2014 book Moving Towards Global Compassion, Paul Ekman notes that the current state of psychological research does not allow us to give any conclusive answer to whether different kinds of compassion can be learned. One problem that he identifies is that existing research, at the time of his writing, tends to be less than clear about the type of empathy or compassion that is being examined.
However, I would argue that there are good reasons to be optimistic that compassion, in most of its definitions, can be learned. To give just one reason, consider neuroplasticity. This notion, informed by neuroscientific research, describes the human brain’s ability to change continuously throughout an individual’s life. Research suggests that we have an almost limitless ability to become better at a skill that we consider valuable.
What supports learning in general?
We can identify some general factors that support learning. Learning is here defined as ‘behavior change‘.
1. A Growth Mindset
In her 2006 book Mindset, Carol Dweck describes the importance of what she calls the ‚growth mindset‘. She observes that whether we believe we can learn and grow is strongly influenced by our mindset.
People with a ‘fixed mindset‘ strongly believe in the notion of innate talent, and a perceived lack of talent in some areas of life prevents them from trying to grow in those areas. They prefer to play it safe and have a negative attitude towards failures.
In contrast, people with a growth mindset believe that growth is possible in any area and that there is no black and white when it comes to talent and potential. They seek useful feedback, welcome challenges and perceive failures as opportunities to learn. A growth mindset allows them to continue improving our talents and abilities beyond what a fixed mindset would consider possible.
If Dweck’s analysis is accurate, our beliefs about whether we can achieve something or not almost work like a self-fulfilling prophecy: if we consider our potential to be limited from the outset, we will give up trying and prove to ourselves that we cannot grow. Conversely, if we consider growth to be continual process that we are capable of, we will make the effort to learn and grow as a result. In this analysis, our assumptions to a large extent determine our outcomes.
A very similar idea is expressed in the notion of self-efficacy, originally proposed by Albert Bandura. Self-efficacy is an individual’s belief that they can successfully perform a certain task. It is a task-specific version of self-esteem. Self-efficacy has influence over people’s ability to learn, their motivation and their performance. Individuals are more likely to engage in tasks and activities for which they have high perceived self-efficacy which leads them to behave in a way that realizes their initial beliefs.
The point made by both Bandura and Dweck, as I understand them, is that our mindset or perceived self-efficacy is not based on objective facts but on subjective assumptions about our individual potential to learn something.
If we have a growth mindset in general, and a high self-efficacy for the particular skill or competence we want to improve, it is much more likely that we will succeed in cultivating it.
2. Effort
In her 2016 book Grit, Angela Duckworth argues that a stronger emphasis in education systems on effort rather than talent would help instill perseverance in children. This perseverance or what she calls ‘grit’ is considered to be a strong predictor for future success.
She introduces some simple formulas that illustrate the importance of effort.
Skill = Talent x Effort
Achievement = Skill x Effort
Combine these two formulas and you get the following:
Achievement = Talent x Effort x Effort
Effort counts twice.
Of course, effort on its own, or the amount of time and energy you expend on something, does not automatically lead to achievement. As Duckworth notes, the quality of effort matters as well (see intelligent practice below).
In order to achieve long-term goals, Duckworth gives some practical advice:
- stay committed
- set low-level goals
- remember the larger dream and vision
- do something that interests you and find purpose in what you do
- have realistic expectations about opportunities available to you
- understand that there is more than one good choice and stick with it
If we conceive of compassion as a skill or competence, then continuous effort will take us a long way in learning or improving it. Continuous effort will take us even farther in terms of achieving the positive change that it inspires us to work towards.
Remember: Compassion = concern + action
3. Intelligent Practice
Intelligent practice, a notion proposed by Anders Ericsson but probably much older, is based on the insight that reflection on our practice (or effort) is a key ingredient towards further growth. Instead of doing the same thing again and again, as though we were acting on auto-pilot, we can achieve better practice and outcomes if we take a step back and consider what we are doing – if we are self-aware. It entails reflecting on what exactly it is that we need to improve in order to achieve a specific goal. An important part of intelligent practice is also seeking out and being receptive towards feedback.
To practice compassion intelligently could mean to be self-aware of our intention and our concern, and particularly of the action that it motivates.
4. Support by Other People
Theories of learning transfer emphasize the importance of getting alignment by all stakeholders in the process of learning. Support by others (peers, mentors, bosses, family) is crucial towards the long-lasting behavior change that is the goal of learning. If there is resistance to change in one’s environment, it is much more difficult to stay motivated and committed. It is also more difficult to get useful feedback.
To learn compassion, it is extremely helpful to have support by other people, to stay motivated, to be accountable to someone, and to receive useful feedback from others. Ideally the people who support us are those we interact with in our daily lives and who matter to us. But when it is difficult to get such support, seeking out other like-minded people or accountability partners can be helpful, too.
The Lexicon of Empathy – by Pascal Wenz-Kim (2024)